I thought it was the best of your writing I’ve read. Some fantastic descriptions and the character Boney came across beautifully.
Overall Dell, my first impression on reading this chapter was that you really enjoyed writing it and it flowed so well, like you have your voice and your language just humming at the moment and you are seeing it all really clearly in your mind, a bit like Steve Smith is seeing the cricket ball.
Setting: so much clear detail and taking the reader into the horror of the battle field, including the travails with the technology of the time, and some insight into what was on the men’s minds as they performed their duties in this theatre of war.
Story: working in such a death stinking environment, there was always the threat that Boney would become consumed by it all, but we think-wish he is apart from it and doing okay, keeping himself safe, and then you push it deeper through his encounter with Ced, and the fact that his wife is pregnant and we just know him so much more.
Structure: with such a focus on Boney and his direct experience, the three-act structure of the chapter works okay, first his direct observation and experiences and then his catchup with Ced adds the new dimension, then the tragic final scene. Character Boney is the universal soldier, he is everyman, whose value and virtue never expires.
Voice: the narrator’s voice displays authority, clarity, compassion (to say ‘the awful truth’ tells us something about narrator and where the narrator thinks their reader is at).
Dialogue: works well.
Time: in this chapter it is straightforward.
Great read. Still enjoying it.
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